You Were Never Meant to Lead Alone | Kingdom LeadHERship

Is there anyone in your life right now who truly knows what you are carrying in your leadership? Not the polished version. The real one.

 In this episode, host Stacy Jo tackles one of the most common and most dangerous patterns she sees in the lives of Kingdom-called women: leading in isolation.

 Stacy Jo gets personal about her own journey — the particular loneliness of carrying a God-given assignment that the people around her could not fully understand, her frustrating search for authentic Christian community, being hurt in communities that were not what they claimed to be, and how God ultimately said "build it." That moment of obedience is where the Association of Christian Business Women (ACBW) was born. Not from a business plan. From a scar.

 In this episode:

- Why isolation is one of the enemy's most effective tools against women in Kingdom leadership

- The lie that sounds like wisdom and strength but keeps gifted women alone and vulnerable

- 3 reasons women in leadership avoid community even when they need it most

- What true Kingdom community looks like and what it is not

- The real story behind ACBW and why Stacy Jo almost did not build it

- 4 practical steps to begin building Kingdom community this week

- Reflection questions and your Kingdom challenge

- Closing prayer

 Key Scriptures: Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 | Proverbs 27:17 | Proverbs 15:22

 This episode is for the woman who is pressing forward in her calling but doing it largely alone — and the woman who has been hurt in community before and is not sure she can trust again. You were not designed to lead in a vacuum. You were designed to be sharpened.

 Reflection Questions for This Week:

1. Is there anyone in your life right now who truly knows what you are carrying in your leadership? If not, what has kept you from allowing that kind of closeness?

2. Have you been hurt in community before in a way that has made you reluctant to try again? What would it look like to bring that wound to God?

3. Who has God already placed in your path that He may be asking you to pursue real Kingdom community with?

Your Kingdom Challenge: Reach out to one woman God brings to mind and take one step toward real community this week. One step. One woman.

Explore Kingdom community at www.acbw.org

Association of Christian Business Women
This episode is brought to you by the Association of Christian Business Women

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Transcript

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Welcome to Kingdom Leadership, the podcast for women pursuing kingdom purpose with faith and intention. This is a space for clarity, encouragement, and conviction. It's a place to pause, refocus, and realign your leadership with what God is asking of you. Whether you're leading in business, ministry, your home, or your community, this podcast is here to remind you that your calling is intentional. Your obedience matters, and your leadership is meant to be aligned with God, not carried in your own strength. I'm your host, Stacey Joe, and together we are leaning into leadership that is whole, obedient, and rooted in purpose. Let's get started. I'm so glad that you made it back, and I'm so glad you're here. You know, last week we talked about laying down the leadership the world gave you. We named the pattern of performance, striving, approval seeking, and isolation that keep women from stepping fully into the kingdom leadership that God designed for them. And I want to pick up on that last one today because I think isolation deserves its own conversation. In my experience, it's one of the most common and one of the most dangerous patterns in the lives of women who lead. And I want to ask you something directly. And I want you to sit and honest and sit with it honestly before you answer. Is there anyone in your life right now who truly knows what you are carrying? I'm not talking about the public version of you, not the leader version of you, but the real you. And honestly, even if the answer is yes, I think God has something in this conversation for every woman who leads. And I had a couple of people I could call when I had a question, a couple of people I could bounce ideas off of, but a real community, a community that would pray over my assignment, that would encourage me when it got burred, that would equip me with wisdom and empower me to keep going. I didn't have that. I didn't have that at all. And it was hard. I want to be really honest about that. There's a particular kind of loneliness that comes with leading something that God put in your heart, but that people around you don't fully understand. You press forward because you believe in the calling, but there are moments, those quiet moments, where you wonder if you're doing it right. Where you wish someone who truly understood could just sit across from you and say, yes, keep going. You're on the right path. I did try. I did try. I stepped in communities that called themselves Christian communities for businesswomen. And I want to be gentle here because I know those communities serve someone, but they were not what I was looking for. They did not have the kingdom depth, the spiritual authenticity, the genuine investment in one another's callings that I was really searching for and was hungry for. And I always liken it to that perfect recipe. You have that great recipe that you're going to make for dinner. And you go into the grocery store and you get all of the ingredients and you put it in the cart, and but you need that one last ingredient. The main ingredient. If you're gonna call yourself a Christian group, it has to be Christ-centered. Christ has to be at the center of it, right? And that was what I was missing. So I kept looking. And eventually, when I couldn't find it, God said build it. And a friend of mine said, build it too, about a year prior. But I was so scorned on these communities that I was trying to find that I had no desire to build anything. But that's where the association of Christian businesswomen came from. Not from a business plan, not from a gap in the market. It came from my own unmet need, from the loneliness of leading alone and the deep conviction that women were not supposed to do this by themselves. ACBW was my answer to that very thing that we're talking about today. And I share that because I want you to know I'm not teaching theory. I'm teaching from a scar. And if you're in that place right now, if you're leading alone, if you're pushing forward without community around you, the community around you that your assignment deserves, this episode is a direct word for you. There's a lie that's been circulating in the lives of strong women for a very long time. And it sounds like wisdom. It sounds like strength. It even sounds a little bit spiritual. And it goes like this if you're really called, really capable, really trusting God, you should be able to handle this on your own. I wouldn't call that what it is. It's a lie. And it is one of the enemy's most effective tools against women in kingdom leadership. Because it keeps gifted, called, anointed women isolated. And isolated leaders are vulnerable leaders. But here's what I know about the women I've walked with over the years. The ones who are carrying the heaviest assignments are often the ones with the least community around them. Not because no one offered, but because they have believed somewhere deep down that meeting people is a sign of weakness. That asking for help is an admission of failure. That real leaders figure it out on their own. But that is not the model God gave us. Not in scripture, not in the life of Jesus, not anywhere in the kingdom framework. You know, it even goes as far as say in Ephesians 4, 9 through 10 that two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. And if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. That's not just a gentle suggestion. That's a warning. God designed us for community, not as a nice addition to our leadership, but as a foundation for it, as a foundation of it. I want to be clear about what I mean when I say kingdom community, because I'm not talking about a networking group where you exchange business cards and talk about revenue goals. I'm not even talking about a small group where you show up, answer a few questions from a notebook and go home. I'm talking about the kind of community where women know your real name, where they know your assignment and they are praying for it. Where they tell you the truth when you need to hear it and hold your hand when it's hard, where they remind you who God called you to be when you have temporarily forgotten. That kind of community does something that no amount of strategy, planning, or personal willpower can do. It keeps you accountable to the calling. It keeps you grounded when the pressure is high. It keeps you from making decisions in isolation that you would never make in the presence of wise kingdom-minded women. I have seen this up close through the Association of Christian Business Women or ACBW. Again and again, I've watched women come into that community carrying an assignment that felt too heavy, too uncertain, too big for one person. And I've watched what happens when kingdom-minded women surround that assignment prayer, in wisdom, and encouragement, and an honest accountability. Things began to shift. Things begin to shift, not because the assignment got smaller, but because women stopped carrying it along. As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. You know it says that in Proverbs 27:17. And you were not designed to lead in a vacuum, you are designed to be sharpened. And sharpening requires friction, proximity, and trust. And that only happens in real community. If community is so powerful, why do so many women in leadership avoid it? I want to name a few of the reasons that I see most often because naming them is the first step in dismantling. And I'd say one of the biggest reasons is they're afraid of being truly seen. Leadership can create pressure to project strength and competence at all times. And the idea of letting other women see uncertainty, to see the fear, the questions, the area of struggle, feels like a risk that's too great to take. So they keep the walls up. They show up to community, but they never really let anyone in. Is that you? Are you afraid of being truly seen? Maybe they've been hurt in community before. And this one's real. And this is where I was. When I was running from starting ACBW, it was because I'd been hurt in community. I had been seeking something that I couldn't find. Words had cut through me. And I will say again, this is real and it deserves to be honored because some people have been burned by relationships that were supposed to be safe. Maybe betrayed, wounded by a church community, hurt by women that they trusted. And now taught them that community is not safe. What it actually taught them is that broken community is not safe. But kingdom community that's rooted in Christ and governed by love and accountability is different. And healing requires being willing to try again. You know, I'm in a unique area of business. Some people don't understand what we do from the daily money management standpoint. Bookkeeping, everybody knows. But I didn't think anybody would understand what I was doing. So they believe their assignment is too unique for anyone else to understand. And there is a version of pride that looks like humility. It sounds like no one else has been called to do what I'm doing. So no one can no one else can really speak into it. But that mindset cuts you off from the wisdom, the perspective, and the prophetic insight that God often delivers through other people. Your assignment may be unique, but the God who gave it to you speaks through community. Proverbs 15, 22 says that plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisors, they succeed. I don't know about you, but I want advisors around me. So the question might be so how do you build the kind of kingdom community I'm describing, especially if you currently don't have it? Well, I want to give you four practical steps to do so. Step one is ask God to show you who He has already placed in your path. Before you go looking for community, ask God if it is already closer than you think. Sometimes the women God has assigned to your circles are already there. They're already showing up in your life. That's the way it was for me. But you've been maybe too busy or too guarded to let them in. So ask God to open your eyes to who he has already sent. Step two would be the one who goes first. Community is built on vulnerability. And someone has to go first. Be the woman who reaches out. Be the one who says, Hey, I've been thinking about you. I would love to connect. I would love to pray with you. I would love to build something real with you. You don't have to wait for someone else to initiate the community you need. Step out and do what God's calling you to do. Step three is find a community that shares your kingdom values. Now, not every community is a kingdom community. Look for women who are grounded in their faith, honest about their struggles, committed to their calling, and willing to speak truth and love. If you're looking for that kind of community and you don't know where to start, of course, shameless plug, I want to invite you to explore the Association of Christian Business Women at www.acbw.org because that is exactly what we are building here. And step four, I urge you to show up consistently and show up real. Community isn't built in one meeting, it's built over time through consistency, through showing up even when it's inconvenient, through being willing to be known rather than just admired. And make the commitment, put it on your calendar. And when you get there, show up as yourself, as your real self, as your raw self, not that polished version, but the real version. And you'll be glad you did. It's so much better when we can be ourselves and not have to feel like we need to be someone else or something that we're not. So here are your reflection questions for this week. The first one, is there anyone in your life right now who truly knows what you're carrying in your leadership? If not, what has kept you from allowing that kind of closeness? The second question is: have you been hurting in community before in a way that has made you reluctant to try again? And what would it look like to bring that wound to God and ask him to heal it? Question three: Who has God already placed in your path that he may be asking you to pursue real kingdom community with? And of course, you know I like to give you a kingdom challenge for the week. So my challenge to you this week is to reach out to one woman God brings to mind and take one step towards real community. It doesn't have to be a big step, but send that text, make the call, maybe send the message on Facebook, Messenger, whatever. Maybe say yes to coffee. Tell her one true thing about where you are in your leadership right now. One step, one woman. That's how Kingdom Community begins. Let's pray. Lord, I thank you that you are a God of community. That from the very beginning you said it is not good for man to be alone. And I believe that this is just as true for the women you have called to lead. I pray right now for every woman listening who has been leading in isolation, who has been carrying her assignment alone because she was afraid or hurt or simply did not know where to look. Lord, meet her in that place today. Heal the wounds that have made community feel unsafe. Open her eyes to the women you have already placed around her, and give her the courage to go first. Send her kingdom community, Lord. Send her women who will pray for her, tell her the truth, celebrate her obedience, and hold her accountable to the calling you placed on her life. Because she was never meant to do this alone. And neither was the woman sitting next to her. In Jesus' name. Amen. Ladies, thank you so much for being here. If this episode spoke something into you today, please share it with woman in your life who needs to hear it. Subscribe so you never miss a new episode. And if Kingdom Leadership has been a blessing to you, consider supporting the show using the link in the show notes. Every bit of support helps us reach more women with this message. Until next time, lead whole, lead obedient, and lead with joy. God bless you. We'll see you next time. Thank you for spending time with me on Kingdom Leadership. If today's conversation encouraged you or brought clarity, take a moment to reflect on what God highlighted for you. Trust him even when the path isn't clear, because he is faithful to direct every step. New episodes of Kingdom Leadership are released every Monday, and I invite you to join me again as we continue pursuing Kingdom Purpose with faith and intention. Until next time, lead with wisdom, walk in obedience, and trust God with where He's leading you.